Heresies
Sex
is good
P.N. Abinales
Review
of Michael
L. Tan, Ma Theresa Ujano Batangan, and Henrietta Cabado-Espanola's Love
and Desire: Young Filipinos and Sexual Risks (Quezon City: University
of the Philippines Center for Womens Studies, 2001), xv+, 137
pp.
There
you have it. Anthropologist and Chair of the UP Anthropology Department,
Michael Tan, with the assistance of Ma. Theresa Ujano Batangan and Henrietta
Espanola, has confirmed two continuities in our sexual life as a people
first, that not much has changed between generations when it
comes to the suppression of our libido and the prohibition to discuss
sex in public; and second, that the Pinoy macho is alive and well.
What I heard from my uncles and aunts when they talked about making
out behind the Churchs sacristy (the last place any vigilant parent
or old maid auntie would check to find where itinerant young ones try
to relieve themselves of their urges) or the highest balcony seat at
the movie theater, had found resonance two generations later, as indicated
by the survey findings that Tan and company published recently as part
of a series by the UP Center for Womens Studies.
The data presented in Love and Desire: Young Filipinos and Sexual Risks
may be a bit outdated and limited (the research was conducted in 1994,
covered only Manila and Iloilo, and with a limited sample of interviews),
but what the authors found out is that hardly has there been any change
in the sexual attitudes of young Filipinos.
On the one hand, while they are expected to be horny who would
not be if you are between 16 and 24 todays young is also
constrained from talking about sex openly or expressing their sexual
preferences and promiscuity. Libog is alright but it has to be contained,
and those who do otherwise would most likely get the ire of elders,
school and Church (and God, of course).
Libog is also okay as long as young couples refrain from going full
speed with the relationship (i.e., be immersed in the wonderful but
risky world of the motels and pre-marital sex) or, if they do so, commit
themselves immediately to marriage and life ever after.
(This particular social sanction is not exclusive to conservatives like
the all-male some gay leadership of the Catholic Church
and the male-centered Filipino family. Local communists are also quite
apprehensive about pre-marital sex, issuing an edict titled On
Marriage that contains, among other things, a provision that enjoins
cadres not to roll, roll in the hay lest they charged with
sexual opportunism and penalized accordingly. This caused
a friend to make the observation that Gloria Arroyo and Jose Ma. Sison
via mouth pieces Igancio Bunye and Teddy Boy Casino, respectively, have
something in common after all. So why not talk sex and shop instead
of exchanging machinegun fire and strutting ones military virility?)
But the deliberate containment of libog has created a contradictory,
quasi-schizophrenic mentality that destroys the beauty of sexuality
and turns it into a tasteless, garish act, shrouded by a misplaced sense
of sacredness and purity. This is music to the ears of reactionaries
like Cardinal Sin and Gloria Arroyo, but alas, something that has major
negative repercussions on the young.
For one, because these people in power have abdicated from their responsibility
to educate the young about sexuality and labeled sex as bad, or as something
only appropriate for those married, they have distorted the youngs
understanding of this basic human act. By criminalizing sex, they have
also forced young people to go underground, i.e., to seek
hidden places (motels) where they could with intense fear and
apprehension explore each others bodies. And without the
proper education from their seniors, their trysts would often inevitably
lead to unwanted pregnancies (and unwanted abortions), not to mention
haphazard decisions to marry at an immature age.
The social criminalization of sexuality (this, I would suggest, is the
real theme of Tan and companys survey) has also forced young males
to seek sexual knowledge and satisfaction in the risky world of the
prostitute. Already deprived of any proper sexual education in the family
and in school, and still imbued with the stupid notion that condoms
are uncool and an insult to the manhood, many of these young men engage
in sex-for-pay unaware and unprotected against infection.
They would also come to regard sexual satisfaction as simply a matter
of ejaculation and release, a mechanical act devoid of enjoyment. The
woman becomes a robot, a mere receptacle of the male semen, and a partner
that is not expected to show pleasure, much more show her enjoyment
in being an equal sexual partner. For how else must one regard her,
given that she is being paid for her services?
All of the above, in turn, help perpetuate the macho and the homophobe
in many of the young, two of the most reactionary ideas that
argues Tan et. al. have allowed homophobia and the illusion of
male superiority to persist to this very day, despite the efforts of
feminists, gay and lesbian activists, and other decent people to combat
these pernicious attitudes.
The book seems to suggest that unless sex becomes part of the public
conversation, and is accepted as part of a human beings every
need, the homophobe and the macho together with the careless
bisexual couples will persist. The failure to bring about this
shift accounts for the resilience of these risky attitudes
across time. Here lies the reason why there seems to be no change in
the sexual attitudes of different generations.
The book is not without some problems. The argument that male-gay arrangements
are specific only to the lower classes because among middle and upper
income classes, these would be severely condemned (p. 74)
is not true. I doubt it, going by the open displays of love and sexuality
by notable rich baklas and lesbians in the fashion worlds, among prominent
hairstylists, actors and of late stage hands, that harm will befall
these elites. Gender and class are still very much entwined with each
other, pace the arguments of radical feminists or gay-lesbian activists
that the former trumps the latter (or alternatively, of Leninists, Stalinists
and Maoists who insist on the opposite).
Tan et. al. also need to explain to us why sex is almost always equated
with food. That seems to be a consistent sub-theme in many of their
respondents, who talk of sex using culinary metaphors. Is it because
of the satisfaction these two acts bring, or is it simply because the
use of gastronomic satiation makes public discussion of sex easier to
do, particularly given the prying eyes of conservative institutions
and elders?
Or is it also possible that by equating food with sex, young people
are expressing their resistance to the attempts by their elders to make
sex a sterile subject?
The historian Felipe Fernandez-Armesto describes in his latest fascinating
book Near a Thousand Tables: A History of Food (Free Press, 2002) that
advocates of vegetarianism like Sylvester Graham, wanted to promote
clean food like bran bread and pumpkins because he believed
that sex was not only immoral; it was unhealthy
because sexual
emissions were debilitating. Society was threatened by the indiscipline
of an unrestrained sex drive. Consciousness of ones sexual organs
was a sign of disease. Sex was paroxysm and orgasm resembled an attack
of diarrhea. Is it possible that the young of today, even without
reading Armestos description of the views of the founder of Graham
crackers, have encountered similar sentiments from their elders and
thus took the opposite road to express their defiance?
These are questions which, if elaborated further by the writers, would
have made the book more interesting. But the present edition will suffice.
For despite its out-datedness and limited areas of exploration, it is
still a work that reminds us that we still are a long way from becoming
a tolerant and open society.